Happy Families with Tarot
Ten of Cups…..’happy families…emotional fulfilment for yourself and others’ is what I always say when the ten of cups comes up in a reading and today it came up for me.
It’s not a card I’m totally comfortable with because at its best it is the ideal. In reality happy families is harder to achieve and not the norm. Who doesn’t want to have come from a happy family, or to belong to one or intend to create one ‘of our own’ in the future. I doubt there is anyone who doesn’t hope for that. Especially women looking for love and a partner….to father their children and with whom to have a happy family. Even if we’ve never experienced it’s something we all yearn for. Hence the bitter sweet quality of this card for me, for many of us. We love them but can’t live with them.
Siblings in the Kruger park
And how typically spot on for the Tarot to give me this card half way through a holiday…. with family! The first for many years. And a card I don’t think I have ever pulled as a daily reflection card, ever.
I’m on holiday with my sister Jane and our south African cousins. Last night unable to sleep I pondered on the bond we have with this south African family and how Susie our Aunt married to Dad’s brother had brought us together with all her Swiss tenacity and South African hospitality, not an easy job with a stand offish slightly snobbish less affluent English family. These cousins by marriage rather than birth have become family by dint of their dedication and commitment to the institution of family and their capacity for love. Of the unconditional kind (10 of cups at its best) through hard work, sacrifice, going the extra mile, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, loyalty ….. through thick and thin, ups and downs, highs and lows.
My immediate family however have become unstuck many times through lack of these qualities clearly. I’d say we are somewhat opinionated and lacking in tolerance. We’re very good at being ‘right’ and being judgemental. Less good at ‘giving’. Or forgiving for that matter. Giving unconditionally not really! Conditional is our style.
We’re not very good at dealing with discomfort of any kind. Hence an obsession with time and ‘to do list’s, trying to be in control of every aspect of life in order to avoid any such thing!
Look how relaxed welcoming and playful this family looks.
The ten of cups reminds us of the quality of relaxed harmony that is possible with family and friends where differences of opinion are accepted where we are able to agree or disagree, where shock horror, to be inconvenienced or put out in any way an intolerable discomfort to our ego and our way of doing things and induce ungracious behaviour and impatience.
I digress! My sister asked me about this card and I gave her the first sentence ‘happy families, emotional fulfilment for yourself and others’ and she said ‘so it’s a good card’….and of course at its optimum positivity yes it is a good card! However all cards hold both the positive and less positive quality, the shadow aspects. There are layers of meanings in each card that we interpret depending on our circumstances….which bring more insight and possibility to the situation so we are able to make more conscious choices.
What meaning did I take when I first looked at this card?
Yeah happy families, things are going well. I took the card as encouragement to keep working at creating happy family relations.
Well within half an hour we had a full scale row. A flare up.
I was NOT expecting the opposite energy of how I read the card! Now feeling anger, hurt etc I had to walk away and ponder the deeper meaning of the card given to me only that morning!
The unconditional love aspect got me thinking in particular. How to embody that and let go of fury/it’s not fair/I want an apology/hold a grudge (s).
Something else that helped. A book I read recently, The ‘Let Them’ theory. Don’t let ‘them’ spoil a good time/your mood by spending a lot of energy on judging, being furious, holding onto a hurt etc. and over the next few hours things smoothed over….today is another day…
Unconditional love is accepting people for who they are! Not easy. Breathe in and breathe out. And start again. Smile to yourself. Another hint received this morning from Eva gold of energy medicine about sending a smile to yourself to nourish yourself with a peaceful heart. She also reminded me of the healing balm of connecting with nature and told a wonderful story of sitting on a bench in pure misery and suddenly feeling a nearby plant with yellow flowers reach out and sending healing vibes to her!
Hey ho…harmony seems to be restored today….so we live another day in happy families.
Do come and have a tarot reading with me online or in person in Battersea.