What is my purpose?

Who else stresses about not having a Purpose?’

Just me?  I guess I am struck with this question when I feel I’m not making a difference, not doing anything to make the world a happier place, am not on a mission. I love being on a mission, having a goal to achieve. Sometimes at the end of the day I find it hard to derive a lot of satisfaction out of the day, what i’ve achieved (which is not much) and that’s when I start stressing about ‘my purpose’. So I have huge understanding for clients who come with that question.

’Man’s search for Meaning’ by Victor Frankl is a seminal work and beautifully describes how it is the ‘meaning’ we attach to things that give purpose.

What ‘meaning’ do we give a beautiful flower?

He described how seeing one lonely flower in the desolation of a concentration camp brought hope and renewal. For the survivor in the seeing the flower reminded him of LIFE against all the odds.

The difference between thriving and surviving comes from the meaning we attach to things. And meaning comes from our personal set of Values.

I’ve always set high store in ‘enjoying life’. For years I thought the purpose of life was to have fun. Hence why I still play with the idea that when we die and meet our maker at the pearly gates the question he/she asks is ‘Well???’  ‘did you enjoy it? the world? Your life? And that the answer surely needs to be yes I loved it.  Not OMG I spent so much time trying to do the right thing, to achieve, to gain approval ……I never realised that was the whole point! 

If you are someone who is hyper vigilant and geared to be looking out for danger …..it’s a bit counter-productive to loving life!

I often turn to Mary Oliver’s poem….

The Messenger, by Mary Oliver

My work is loving the world.

Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird — equal seekers of sweetness.

Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.

Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.

Are my boots old? Is my coat torn? Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?

Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work,

which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.

The phoebe, the delphinium.

The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.

Which is mostly rejoicing, since all ingredients are here,

Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart and these body-clothes, a mouth with which to give shouts of joy to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam, telling them all, over and over, how it is that we live forever.

I love the way Mary Oliver suggests whenever she feels doubt, getting older, her boots being worn, the daily tribulations of life she turns to her ‘work’….which is to revel in this extraordinary world, and say thank you thank you for all of its beauty and uniqueness.

Mary Oliver reminds us of the pleasure in the beauty of Nature.

More often than not I pull a tarot card, to see what insight ‘my friend’ the Tarot has for me…..

Today feeling very ‘purposeless’ I pulled the Empress.   I always think the Empress, is the quintessential mother, abundant, generous, creative, giving birth to the new, harvesting what has been cared for, plentiful ……I had to do a bit of googling to think how to translate her as an ‘advice’ card.   How to be (the verb) abundant, generous, creative? 

Richness, abundance, creativity, fertility, generosity, beautiful Nature

Being the quintessential mother is the give-away.  She is caring and nurturing and abundant, she understands this is an innate aspect of herself and mother nature, and that she is part of the whole. She feels completely natural in her own skin in her own being and is a natural mother to herself as well as others. She understands that self-care is part of caring for others.  

Sometimes you’ve got to be your own Mother, and give yourself a hug and a kind word and take care of yourself and go and buy yourself a beautiful bunch of flowers.

There’s a generosity to the Empress and a kindness that softens the need to strive and allow ‘being’. I will hold her close to my heart today.

Do come and have a tarot reading with me, online or in person in Battersea. We can have a reading that explores our values, meaning and purpose.