What is my purpose?

Who else stresses about their Purpose?’

Just me?  It is a question that comes up a lot in in tarot readings.   And it is something I have asked myself many many times over the years…… generally when I’m feeling ‘what I do doesn’t matter’…... 

’Man’s search for Meaning’ by Victor Frankl describes how it is the ‘meaning’ we attach to things….. that give us a sense of purpose.

What ‘meaning’ do we give a beautiful flower?

He describes seeing how one lonely flower in the desolation of a concentration camp brought hope and renewed purpose. That the difference between thriving and surviving comes from our values and the meaning we attach to things.

I’ve always set high store in ‘enjoying life’ being the gold standard. For years I thought the purpose of life was to have fun. Hence why I still play with the idea that when we die and meet our maker at the pearly gates the question he/she asks is ‘Well???’  ‘did you enjoy it? the world? Your life? And that the answer surely needs to be yes I loved it.  Not OMG I spent so much time trying to do the right thing, to achieve, to gain approval ……I never realised that was the whole point! 

The irony is as someone who is hyper vigilant and geared to be looking out for danger …..it’s a bit counter-productive to enjoying life!

I often turn to Mary Oliver’s poem….

The Messenger, by Mary Oliver

My work is loving the world.

Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird — equal seekers of sweetness.

Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.

Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.

Are my boots old? Is my coat torn? Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?

Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work,

which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.

The phoebe, the delphinium.

The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.

Which is mostly rejoicing, since all ingredients are here,

Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart and these body-clothes, a mouth with which to give shouts of joy to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam, telling them all, over and over, how it is that we live forever.

Mary Oliver reminds us to look out at the world with the eyes of a poet and notice the beauty of Nature. And a heart full of gratitude.

This view fills me with gratitude.

More often than not I pull a tarot card, to see what insight ‘my friend’ the Tarot has for me…..

Today feeling very ‘purposeless’ I pulled the Empress.   I always think the Empress, is the quintessential mother, abundant, generous, creative, giving birth to the new, harvesting what has been cared for, plentiful ……I had to do a bit of googling to think how to translate her as an ‘advice’ card.   How to be (the verb) abundant, generous, creative? 

Richness, abundance, creativity, fertility, generosity, beautiful Nature

Being the quintessential mother is the give-away.  She is caring and nurturing and abundant, she understands this is an innate aspect of herself and mother nature, and that she is part of the whole. She feels completely natural in her own skin in her own being and is a natural mother to herself as well as others. She understands that self-care is part of caring for others.  

There’s a generosit to the Empress and a kindness that softens my striving into being. I will hold her close to my heart today.

Do come and have a tarot reading with me, online or in person in Battersea. We can have a reading that explores our values, meaning and purpose.